This is my cat!
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Mr. RIGHT Rejection Letter
The MR. RIGHT Rejection Letter
Dear [____rejectee's name here_____],
I regret to inform you that you have been eliminated from further contention as Mr. Right. As you are probably aware, the competition was exceedingly tough and dozens of well-qualified candidates such as yourself also failed to make the final cut. I will, however, keep your name on file should an opening become available. So that you may find better success in your future romantic endeavors, please allow me to offer the following reason(s) you were disqualified from the competition:
[Check all those that apply]
___ Your breasts are bigger than mine.
___ Your last name is objectionable. I can't imagine taking it, hyphenating it, or subjecting my children to it.
___ The fact that our finest dining experience to date has been at McDonald's reveals a thriftiness that I find unappealing.
___ Your inadvertent admission that you "buy condoms by the truckload" indicates that you may be interested in me for something other than my personality.
___ You failed the 20 Question Rule, i.e., I asked you 20 questions about yourself before you asked me one.
___ Your legs are skinnier than mine. If you can FIT into my pants, then you can't GET into my pants.
___ Your "Putting on a few, aren't you babe?" comment, given the 9-months pregnant size of your beer gut, was inappropriate.
___ You failed the credit check.
___ I find your inability to fix my car extraordinarily unappealing.
___ The fact that your apartment has been condemned reveals an inherent slovenliness that I fear is unbreakable.
___ The phrase "My Mother" has popped up far too often in conversation.
___ You still live with your parents.
___ You mention your ex-girlfriend's name more than you mention mine.
___ Three words: Size does matter.
Sincerely,
[Your name here]
This one's been around forever! Still makes me giggle! - Guru Gal
Dear [____rejectee's name here_____],
I regret to inform you that you have been eliminated from further contention as Mr. Right. As you are probably aware, the competition was exceedingly tough and dozens of well-qualified candidates such as yourself also failed to make the final cut. I will, however, keep your name on file should an opening become available. So that you may find better success in your future romantic endeavors, please allow me to offer the following reason(s) you were disqualified from the competition:
[Check all those that apply]
___ Your breasts are bigger than mine.
___ Your last name is objectionable. I can't imagine taking it, hyphenating it, or subjecting my children to it.
___ The fact that our finest dining experience to date has been at McDonald's reveals a thriftiness that I find unappealing.
___ Your inadvertent admission that you "buy condoms by the truckload" indicates that you may be interested in me for something other than my personality.
___ You failed the 20 Question Rule, i.e., I asked you 20 questions about yourself before you asked me one.
___ Your legs are skinnier than mine. If you can FIT into my pants, then you can't GET into my pants.
___ Your "Putting on a few, aren't you babe?" comment, given the 9-months pregnant size of your beer gut, was inappropriate.
___ You failed the credit check.
___ I find your inability to fix my car extraordinarily unappealing.
___ The fact that your apartment has been condemned reveals an inherent slovenliness that I fear is unbreakable.
___ The phrase "My Mother" has popped up far too often in conversation.
___ You still live with your parents.
___ You mention your ex-girlfriend's name more than you mention mine.
___ Three words: Size does matter.
Sincerely,
[Your name here]
This one's been around forever! Still makes me giggle! - Guru Gal
Saturday, January 26, 2008
Successful people surround themselves with success.
Successful people surround themselves with success and other successful people.
Friday, January 25, 2008
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Total MUST SEE chick flick ! ! ! 27 Dresses
Here it is! A hilarious night out with the gals! 27 Dresses with Katherine Heigl in the starring role as a bridesmaid but never the bride. Check out the movie trailer!
You can also visit the offical website at http://www.27dressesthemovie.com/
You can also visit the offical website at http://www.27dressesthemovie.com/
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Lipstick on the Mirror
According to a news report, a certain private school in Victoria, BC recently was faced with a unique problem. A number of grade 12 girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints.
Every night, the custodian would remove them and the next day, the girls would put them back.
Finally the principal decided that something had to be done. He called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the custodian. He explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night. To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, he asked the custodian to show the girls how much effort was required.
The custodian then took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet, and cleaned the mirror with it.
Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror!
ewwwwww! from funnies.com/lipstick
GURU GAL MORAL: Be careful where you put your lips ladies!
Every night, the custodian would remove them and the next day, the girls would put them back.
Finally the principal decided that something had to be done. He called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the custodian. He explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night. To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, he asked the custodian to show the girls how much effort was required.
The custodian then took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet, and cleaned the mirror with it.
Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror!
ewwwwww! from funnies.com/lipstick
GURU GAL MORAL: Be careful where you put your lips ladies!
ALL THINGS FABULOUS! ! ! ! !
What would life be without FABULOUS things!? Guru Gal is all about being FABULOUS and spreading FABULOUSNESS throughout the land. MUAHAHAHAHAHA! So, spread the word. If you have a friend who's been bitten by a Frump Bug, send her to me .... QUICK! No frumpiness allowed. Immediate intervention is necessary. Stay tuned . . . . . . . . . .
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